IT IS NOW ILLEGAL TO REFER TO WEDNESDAY AS "HUMP DAY"

I, DOOFUS J. TRUMP, by the Authority Vested in Me as President by the Constitution and the Laws of the United States of America, find that the term "Hump Day" has been widely misused in official and professional settings, leading to confusion, inefficiency, and unprofessional discourse. Furthermore, it has been co-opted by radical leftist elements seeking to undermine traditional American values. This term has become a tool of woke ideology and Marxist rhetoric designed to weaken the structure of our nation’s workforce. In order to uphold the integrity of government communication and workplace professionalism, this order establishes clear guidelines prohibiting the use of the term "Hump Day" in all federal institutions and official correspondence.

Section 1. (a) Effective immediately, the term "Hump Day" shall not be used in any official government communications, including but not limited to internal memos, public statements, and professional correspondence. This applies to all branches of the executive, legislative, and judicial government bodies.

(b) All references to "Hump Day" shall be replaced with "Midweek Day" or "Wednesday" in accordance with professional communication standards. Federal agencies shall ensure that all official documents reflect this change.

(c) The Department of Justice and the Office of Government Ethics shall oversee the implementation of this directive to ensure compliance and maintain workplace professionalism.

Section 2. (a) The Department of Justice shall be responsible for ensuring compliance with this order. Agencies and individuals found in violation of this directive may be subject to administrative penalties as deemed appropriate by their respective governing bodies.

(b) A task force shall be established under the Department of Government Efficiency to monitor adherence to this policy and to provide recommendations for further refinement of official communication protocols.

(c) Social media platforms operating in partnership with federal agencies shall be required to adhere to this policy when disseminating government-related content. Failure to comply may result in a review of contractual agreements and regulatory actions as necessary.

Section 3. (a) The heads of executive departments and agencies shall take all necessary actions to ensure the implementation of this order, including issuing guidance and training materials as needed.

(b) The Office of Management and Budget shall conduct a review within 90 days of this order’s enactment to assess the effectiveness of its implementation and provide recommendations for further improvement.

Section 4. This order is effective immediately upon issuance.